.:LOVE:.

.:Prayer:.

Lord, thank you for continuing providing peace in my heart. I thank you for revealing the truth to me. I was told by my tita Josie that when I pray I have to be specific. I will be as specific as I can. I pray for strength in being able to surpass the problems that Derek and I will face from the past, present and future. I pray for Derek to seek more of you and for the peace of mind he needs as you will guide his heart to the right path. I pray for my relationship with Derek and the people around us to be supportive and be able to guide is in our journey together. Lord i pray for Derek that he will be able to know and find a way to what he really wants in life. Give him the guidance and provision. Lord, for me i pray that you continue to provide me the peace and calmness in my heart in order to be able to help others and the understanding and patience O need for my relationship to work. I thank you for all these in Jesus name . Amen

.:Pain:.

It's very painful to see the person you love to lie and look at you eye to eye and tell you that he cares. I have never witnessed such a thing. For her to come out of his bedroom and not say a word and his non sense explanations. I saw how scared you were, you were stuttering so much. It hurts so much at times I don't even know what to feel because I feel emotionless. I feel so silly I laugh for a second then next thing you know tears are coming down my eyes. Every memories that I thought I started sharing with you was extra special. I came back with a clean conscience and positivity that we can start all over again, and now I thought we were both on the same page and trying this so called relationship for us, then I find we're not on the same page.
how can you have another woman in your house on days I am not with you? Do you think it's just ok for you to bring a lady friend where we sleep together? Just because she's a good friend of yours? And flying with me to meet my family? And the very last text you texted me yesterday just went all down the drain. I have so many questions running through my head but these are a few. For now I will give you the space/break you asked for so you can think clearly and find out for yourself what you really want in your life? If its to continue to have fun and be a bachelor I respect that but i cannot be part of it because not all is ok with me. I love you that Is why I am doing this. I want us to have a peace of mind and be able to have our hearts, mind and emotions to be prepared for something better for us or maybe for others. I love you and I do care for you.

.:Fool:.

After a long day at work yesterday, I decided to drive by her place. Her car was not there. So then next, I decided to drive to his place. Guess what her car was there. TOok a picture of it and finally confirmed myself. You're bullshit saying that she drives a jeep just got thrown out the door. You're cover ups are all squashed because the truth prevails. I even got a glimpse of her face! for you to tell me "I will chill with my boy today, and tonight after work you can go home" drama makes you the best actor for fake ass holes. I cannot believe how you can look at me in the eye and treat me so nice like I am your world. You tell me if I want to play you games? Boy you playing the game already. Telling me I am the upper hand from everyone else, guess what, I just jump out of that hand. If I was really a bitch I would make a scene but what's the point I was just finding out the truth and you find me crazy already. I will be the bigger person this time and walk away. Blame me for leaving you in the past, I had my reasons and I came back with a clean conscience. To start a new life here in Winnipeg for my career and possibly with you. "easy easy lang" as what you always say..well it will make it easier for me that I found out earlier than later. We both deserve to be happy and be treated with respect. However, I don't feel respected or treated how I'm suppose to be treated. I am a woman with feelings and deserve to be treated extra special.
"Just give it a couple days for me to kool off an think, cause if you weren't speacial, I wouldn't spend most of my time eating and sleeping with you. You are a special woman to me, promise, just give a niiga a little bit of space"
Nigga I will give your space...

Lord, I know revenge is not the answer. Lord I pray for strength, peace of mind and find happiness that I deserve. I pray for those who has hurt me in my past and present that you may touch their hearts and lives and work in them so they may be able to find true happiness and peace in their lives.

Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man (Lyrics)

Bei Maejor feat. J.Cole - Trouble

Melanie Fiona - This Time ft. J. Cole