.:You know why?:.

So I forgot to add on the highlight of that babysitting Love and I did for the Pascual's. Lovey was so kind enough to help me out with changing SArah's diapers. So he held her legs and I was the one doing the actual changing. I started taking off the soiled diapers and Lovey started gagging. I started laughing because he ended up throwing up in the toilet and stuff was coming out. I felt bad but I had a good laugh..=D I still love him no matter what.

So Thursday, I had a long day, Clinical Judgment and Emergency Procedures at school and it was a full long day. I didn't bother staying after school to practice my catheter checkout as I was very tired.

Then Friday came, I had breakfast with Lovey and we had our breakfast wrap at this cafe close to his work. Then I went with my girlfriend Jubail, to pick up her and future hubby's wedding band for their upcoming intimate wedding. She treated me for lunch, then went to Lovey's crib and waited for him to go home and I ended up napping. Then we went for a little trip to the mall..and got some good desserts which I haven't had any!!!(I better get some tomorrow) hihihi we got them from Anna's bakery. Then we got ready for our bestest Marivic's bday dinner. It was going well until Marvin had announced that they are moving back to Calgary for a while..who knows for how long..but I didn't get to stop the tears from my eyes..I got really sad. =( but on the other hand, it is good for SArah.

Saturday, I went home to my mama and helped her out at home and Lovey helped out with putting up our Christmas lights..He is such a great help for mama. It's just that now as much as I want to have a new long life journey with Love, there's a part of him that doesn't want to be with me because he knows my mom still needs me. Anyhow, so I had work from 5-9. Love dropped me off and picked me up. I went to his nephew's (rap rap) bday. I had a good laugh with Lovey's family. hey, I missed them.

I have been pretty much spending the entire week with Love I hope he doesn't get sick of me..and yes I started going to the gym! I hope I keep at it..and I got to study for my PG finals too..i'll do some more tomorrow >.<

Lord thank you for everything that you have blessed me for the past few days. I look forward to another day.

.:Babysitting Sarah:.

Hiya! so I had a doctor's appt today and I got my seasonal flu shot, and my lab works on how much protection I have from Hepatitis (if I need a booster shot to prepare for my practicum and perceptorship). Then I went home in Delta, did some laundry, caught up with my teleserye and finished majority of my homework. =D Then I had an early pho dinner with my sister Emmy. Oh yea before I forget, Kaye said that her special someone has told her I ???? you to her but he's waiting for the right time to say it.

So I headed back out to babysit baby Sarah Pascual. It was my first time sitting a 3 month old baby, it was a little tiring because my strong arm was sore from the flu shot, but I got her to sleep for a little bit, danced her around and kept her comfortable. I enjoyed the whole day.

Thank you Lord for giving me the strength, the time and courage.
Thank you for my close friends and loved ones.

p.s a friend of mine called and asked for a favor if her bf and her could sleepover for a night at Love's house. I was not comfortable about it and it is not my home. Eventhough, I didn't want them to sleepover here for a night, we were babysitting and I don't know the guy.

.:Pasta day:.

I wrote my Health Final exam. It was not too bad. I hope I passed it. I also went to Goto King with my filipina classmates and I had arroz caldo =P. Then we had a mock exam of possible questions for the national exam. It was tough. Then I went to lovey's and we bought groceries for dinner, did laundry and went to the gym. Now my love left me to shoot some ball at Douglas. I'm feeling sore but I know this is for my health.

Thank you for the rain, the guidance, and the time.

.:Day 1 of Gym time:.

So, my day started early today. I was able to do some studying for my Health exam tomorrow. I was also able to cook lunch and dinner for myself and Lovey. I also went to the gym for a run. I feel good having all these things done all in one day. I just wish I can stay here in New West as everything is more convenient for me.

Thank you for the rain, for the food and for the time you had given me.

.:Love and Basketball:.

I went to Surrey church and celebrated their 3 year anniversary. Then I watched and cheered for Lovey's bball game. They were winning but the opposing team caught up. It was alright because my love's playing time was very good and did his very best =D. Then we had dinner at our favorite resto Nando's on Marine Drive. I had some studying done for my health exam.

Lord thank you for today, for safety and I am looking forward for tomorrow!

.:aji taro:.

My day started off a little rough because lovey woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Good thing I left him for a couple of hours to get his alone time. First we went to a baby shower of our friend Kevin and Marianne. They are having a baby boy and their theme was blue. It was all the way in Port Coquitlam so it was a little bit of a longer commute/drive for us. After some games and food at the baby shower, we went to brentwood mall to walk around a little bit and chilled at Starbucks, before Kuya Dale's birthday dinner. We went to Aji Taro in Richmond where we had all you can eat especially Salmon Sashimi =P. It was a good dinner because it was just myself, Love, KUya dale, Danica and Randolph. It was a small dinner which I liked. Then we went home. I had a nice day with my love.

Lord, thank you for the rain and a wonderful day.

.:out in the open:.

So, the highlight of the day is that when my boyfriend asked me "I want to dress up as Jesus on halloween"...

What a very controversial question. What did I feel? I feel offended. I would never thought of dressing up someone that is related to any religious or faith of someone. Being like him is already mocking him. There is no other Jesus, no other God, no other Mary, no other Joseph, no other heavenly being that can replace them here on earth...

I am crushed..Lord be by my side..=*(

.:just the way you are:.

So I had a day with my best friend JR. It was nice because of the sunny weather. I appreciated every bit of the trip I had. He drove me around Vancouver for about 2 hours. I've never been around much the city, so It was a good drive around town. We went to Deep Cove, it's a nice place, beautiful and quiet scenery, too bad I didn't have a camera to take shots and probably had my own photo skills. Anyhow, then he treated me for lunch, we had wings at RAVEN bar & grill. It was good wings and on special too! After that we went to his house, I chilled with the two doggies NuNu and Miko, Tita Anne, Egay, Jenny and JR. We watched a Filipino movie but I was playing with the doggies the whole time. Then we went to Richmond to watch the movie RED. Very good movie, funny and suspense =D. Haven't watched a movie in the theaters in so long.
Anyhow so I got home and called LOVE, and he sounded like he was not even in the mood in talking to me. Ok the big ass headache was to blame, but come one; having a call from the person that is in love with you for so long and you haven't heard from the whole day, wouldn't you at least have the patience of talking to her but it all sounded like short temper. I had to ask the question 2x as I didn't her the answer the first time. I was looking forward to talk to him but no, nothing; cold shoulders. Also, I didn't feel like I was someone's girlfriend, I was the one that had to check up on him. Well at least I showed that I care with sincerity!
I shouldn't even bother about why my caring is not appreciated. I just do my very best and what I am capable off. nuff said...

p.s I thank you God for blessing me with a wonderful day. I pray for mom's recovery from her sickness. For Kaye's condition as she is not feeling well, for myself, Emmy's and Chellsa's schooling now that exams are coming up. For Domer as he find a better job. For James' studies and relationship with his family especially with his mother. Lastly, Alvin guide him through his life as sometimes I don't know how to become his source of strength as I feel that I am just taken for granted. I lift my prayers to you in your name...Amen


when will it be my time?

.:bevel up:.

So school today was all about gynecological complications and/or procedures. It was very interesting and I did learn something and surprisingly it stayed in my brain >.<. We also had some love making talk with my peers..haha i know funny right?
Then I picked up my stuff from Love's house and I'm so glad that he started his photo lessons..and good news he enjoyed it =D. I look forward to hearing more things about his photography lessons..=D I went to Celebrations with my sister and she so nice to grab me a couple books for couples =D. I hope that Love will agree on reading them with me. They're a short easy read so I hope it will not overwhelm Lovey. I watched a couple of my favorite filipino shows and now i'm just waiting for my love's goodnight call.

Lord thank you for the wonderful day, for my family, my friends and my love of my life Alvin Lescano...speaking of him..he's calling now

.:Sunday basketball:.

So my Sunday started off at 8am..got ready for Richmond Church Anniversary, witnessed how the sister church grew, went to Lovey to pick him up for his basketball game. He made me cry because I got too upset of him smelling my armpit, and he knows its one of my embarrassing body parts that I don't really like. We went to Vancouver for his basketball game, they were winning but the other team was able to catch up. My love did his very best already, I just hope his teammates helped him. They were relying on him too much. He may be my batman but the team needs his help..he needs a lot of Robin...Then we went to Ate Anne's house for STella and Dot's trunk show. I didn't really get any jewelry, i don't have money so I just hung out with Love. Then we went to Danica and Danielle's because Lovey had to help tito Danny with installing something on his pc. So Love and I had a pretty long day. Looking forward for what tomorrow brings. I just have to finish folding my clothes and do some homework early morning.

Lord thank you for being by my side through good and bad along with my Loved ones.

.:Train ride:.

Hiya! So, it has been a couple of days. I was working for two evening shifts. My love went clubbing with friends on Friday night, we cuddled all morning until I had to go to work again.

I noticed that whenever I find myself lonely and my love is going somewhere I can't go, I end up crying =S. Is this how it feels like being IN LOVE? it feels good but crappy at the same time..because I know this may not be forever as death will part us someday.

I had brunch with Lovey at Ki Sushi, and he also picked me up from the skytrain after work today =D and had a train ride together from 29th Avenue until new westminster.

Anyhow, thank you for a wonderful sunshine, and good health for my family and friends.

.:Nando's:.

So I had nursing arts today and all we did was neurological and neuro vascular assessment. I had a sister time with kaye and got our wax done, bought Nando's for dinner Kaye's treat. I owe so much to my sister, I will return it to her once I get a stable job.
I saw Love and got to take a small nap with him while I waited for my sister to get to Lovey's house.
I was also the gas girl as I gassed up the two cars. I didn't pay for gas but I filled it up for them.

Thank you for a productive day.

.:church's chicken:.

So I woke up around 8am, showered, and started my health paper. I had a productive day because I finished my paper around 4pm today. And I couldn't ask for more because my LOVE Alvin Lescano my future Hubby came over just to spend time with me. My sister Kaye also opened up to me about what has been happening with her and Mark. I gave her a few advices and just told her to keep her distant for now as he has been affecting her emotionally even though they are not together. I also had a surprise visit from my bestfriend Kevin and Marianne to drop off their baby shower invitaion. It was such a joy to see them. =D

Anyways, my love came over, we had church's chicken for dinner with my sister Kaye and Emalean, played a bit of Wii and I just sat beside him the whole time as he does his newly found hobby in photography and editing.

I thank the Lord for a wonderful weather and my blessing me with such special people in my life. I love my love Alvin Lescano from the bottom of my heart and my love for him keeps going stronger and fonder! Everyday seems to be a happy day despite of some sadness but to give it some fun. I love you, you and you!!!

.:Tuesday for Lovers:.

School was good today, I got to do my sterile wound/drain check out with a satisfactory grade which is good. I also learned how to discontinue a CBI. I had a meeting with my healing instructor and she told me not to worry too much but make sure I will do much better on the final exam because that is my last resort. So I will study my hardest, use all the resources to make sure to study very well, with peers and ask my instructor for clarifications.

Best of all! I had my Tuesday date with my Love Alvin Lescano!!! I came over to his place..watched a little bit of tv, cuddled and had dinner at Old Spaghetti Factory in New West. Of course I had my new favourite, the grilled chicken linquine pasta and lovey had his usual lasagna. Thanks lovey for giving me some bebe time!.

I love you!

Thank you Lord!

p.s I pray for Mahal's family and his uncle's family. Condolence mahal.

.:I will take you forever:.

I was a man who always played around in love
So quick to take but so afraid to give enough
But now I’ve found the one
And heaven will only know
What only my eyes can say
And time can’t take away

I was a girl who trusted no one with my heart
And the dreams that young girls dream
Were just vanishing in the dark
But now I’ve found the one
And heaven will only know
What only my eyes can say
They say

That I will take you forever
And there will never be anyone else in my heart but you
And I will take you forever
And there will never be anyone else but you
Anyone else but you

Now my heart belongs to you
And I will always be your best friend
Now my secrets are safe with you
And the magic will never end
Now you are the one
And heaven will only know
What only our eyes can say
They say

That I will take you forever
And there will never be anyone else in my heart but you.
And I will take you forever
And there will never be anyone else but you
anyone else but you, anyone else but you.

You (you)..oohhh.
That I will take you forever
And there will never be anyone else in my heart but you.
Now I will take you forever
And there will never be anyone else but you
anyone else but you.
I will girl take you forever
By your side I won’t leave you never
I don’t need anyone else but you
And I will take you… ohhh…forever. Ohh…
I will (I will) take you forever.

Kris Lawrence feat. Denise Laurel

.:Trip to Calgary:.

So the 12 hour long drive wasn't the greatest but having to spend it with my Love made it better. Although he may not have slept the whole long drive, I treasure every moment I was with him. We witnessed Crystalyn's Gloss Salon opening, Baby Sarah's baptism. It was a nice trip but will never want to long drive there again, maybe to fly I would.

Consequently, a news from school didn't make my weekend finish happy, I did not do well on my exam and It was a fail. Now I am very worried for where I stand in the program. I didn't want this to happen =(. I don't know what to do, I don't have any supplemental exam left. OH NO!>.<

Happy Thanksgiving

.:breakfast at starbucks:.

I had breakfast with Love at Starbucks. I went home, I started studying, but my migraine attacked so I napped for a little bit. Watched a little bit of tv, and got back with studying again. I'm planning on waking up early tomorrow to study some more.

.:clinical is over:.

So I missed the last 2 days of my entry so here it is.
Sunday:
I watched my love play ball. They lost but that's ok because he did well for his game. I just didn't like the fact when a spectator was trash talking him and I can hear ut. I just shut my mouth the whole game and watch lovey. We also had a family dinner with the family including love and Domer. We had our last dinner at the golden palace because it was closing. It was great because it was our 4yr and 9months of dating, so we had a little bit of celbration and celebrated mama and dad's wedding anniversary.

Monday - Tuesday
were my last 2 days of clinical. It was a pretty breezy shifts. I was more familiarize with how the unit works and what priorities I had to look into on my shift. It was a pretty good experience. I would like to try a different hospital if I may. I showered and napped for a little bit. I had all you can eat fish and chips with lovey. Now we're just watching the worlds tallest children.

Lord thank you for blessing us with sun today. For guidance in my practicum. Safety and good health of my family. The close and trusting relationship with my love.

.:4 years and 9 months:.

It has been 4 years and 9months since I said Yes to you (ofcourse, I said yes to be your gf =D) We may have one our very first big argument and break a few weeks ago, but we both made it work. Now we have communication in our relationship and supporting each other with what we enjoy and love to do for ourselves. Thank you for your patience, giving spunk in our relationship (you're green mindedness, being funny and always giving me a smile on my face and at times a frown but the smile weighs more). Love I look forward to our future and our future family. I cannot promise to be around forever but I will tell you this, I will love you as much as I can for as long as I live. If ever that time comes, I will wait for you in heaven. I love you!

On the other hand, I had a productive day, I actually got my structured journal finish and now I can start studying for my Healing exam this Thursday. I need to do very well on it as I just passed the previous exam. So will get on that tomorrow. I also went to Mikaela's christening dinner at fleetwood, lots of food. I also dropped by the victory party for the YA with Love, we played games and Love was able to receive a door prize, but he forgot to take it from me. Anyhow the day was productive, fun and full of sunshine! Thank you Lord! for keeping my family together and safe.

.:patience:.

So the last few days I have been noticing how my mom has been very irritated especially with me. It all started when she said along the lines that I'm bigger than my sister Emalean, so it's okey for me to take the bus late at night and she can't. Another incident that happened was, I had to get gas because it's very dangerous at the gas station. I understand that it's really dangerous at the gas station especially at night but, I hoped that she didn't make it sound like i'm the guy in the family. Again it went along the lines to be just me filling up the gas all the time because again..it is not safe. Has it occurred to her mind that I'm also a girl? and a lot of things can happen to me? Or wait because I'm big, I can protect myself. Lastly, from what I recall is her water decor in the living room where a ball spins by the flow of the water. So it was not lit or not turning. She went frantic and wondering why it wasn't lit or spinning. Ofcourse, my reaction was I didn't know and I didn't notice as I had just got to the living room this morning and started watching tv. But, there was no reason for the behaviour as it was just accidentally unplugged.

I was getting too overwhelmed as I had been feeling treated unfairly. I'm also her child aren't I? Or wait I'm an accident, I think? So hear me out, If your parents got married on Sept 30, 1984 and You were born on January 18, 1985 wouldn't that mean...(just do the math) So I had to figure that out myself and found out not long ago. If I could turn back time and have asked my dad why he never told me of the situation I would have understood. Nobody is perfect or was it because of Fear? Dad if you were here, I know you would be more open in telling me why you never told me about having me before marriage. I'm sorry but, i must have misinterpreted you and mom because I saw the perfect expectation of marriage..you know having to marry first before children. But no, at this age and time, I believe I would've understood.

The rest of the day I spent it with Love, I went to best buy and future shop to look into his tablet for his new photography hobby. Gladly, he found an affordable one. I went and spent time with him for a little while at his place as I watch tv and him on his new tablet. I enjoyed how we walked for a little bit and didn't have a car because we were singing to each other. "and i'll say hey, you'll say baby, how's your day, you'll say crazy..."

I waited for Kaye to get to the train from her girlfriends' night out in downtown.

Lord, even though you letting this happen, I know my patience and forgiveness is being tested. I just hope you understand that I need to go through pain first in order for me to forgive and forget. I am also trying my best to understand what my mom is going through. It is just hard for me too. So, I know you will be the only one that will understand me and my mom (for her troubles at this time).

Looking forward for a brand new day tomorrow.

p.s Chellsa surprised us along with Domer. Brother was nice enough to drive to her school and bring her home to us. =D.

Thank you Lord.