.:patience:.

So the last few days I have been noticing how my mom has been very irritated especially with me. It all started when she said along the lines that I'm bigger than my sister Emalean, so it's okey for me to take the bus late at night and she can't. Another incident that happened was, I had to get gas because it's very dangerous at the gas station. I understand that it's really dangerous at the gas station especially at night but, I hoped that she didn't make it sound like i'm the guy in the family. Again it went along the lines to be just me filling up the gas all the time because again..it is not safe. Has it occurred to her mind that I'm also a girl? and a lot of things can happen to me? Or wait because I'm big, I can protect myself. Lastly, from what I recall is her water decor in the living room where a ball spins by the flow of the water. So it was not lit or not turning. She went frantic and wondering why it wasn't lit or spinning. Ofcourse, my reaction was I didn't know and I didn't notice as I had just got to the living room this morning and started watching tv. But, there was no reason for the behaviour as it was just accidentally unplugged.

I was getting too overwhelmed as I had been feeling treated unfairly. I'm also her child aren't I? Or wait I'm an accident, I think? So hear me out, If your parents got married on Sept 30, 1984 and You were born on January 18, 1985 wouldn't that mean...(just do the math) So I had to figure that out myself and found out not long ago. If I could turn back time and have asked my dad why he never told me of the situation I would have understood. Nobody is perfect or was it because of Fear? Dad if you were here, I know you would be more open in telling me why you never told me about having me before marriage. I'm sorry but, i must have misinterpreted you and mom because I saw the perfect expectation of marriage..you know having to marry first before children. But no, at this age and time, I believe I would've understood.

The rest of the day I spent it with Love, I went to best buy and future shop to look into his tablet for his new photography hobby. Gladly, he found an affordable one. I went and spent time with him for a little while at his place as I watch tv and him on his new tablet. I enjoyed how we walked for a little bit and didn't have a car because we were singing to each other. "and i'll say hey, you'll say baby, how's your day, you'll say crazy..."

I waited for Kaye to get to the train from her girlfriends' night out in downtown.

Lord, even though you letting this happen, I know my patience and forgiveness is being tested. I just hope you understand that I need to go through pain first in order for me to forgive and forget. I am also trying my best to understand what my mom is going through. It is just hard for me too. So, I know you will be the only one that will understand me and my mom (for her troubles at this time).

Looking forward for a brand new day tomorrow.

p.s Chellsa surprised us along with Domer. Brother was nice enough to drive to her school and bring her home to us. =D.

Thank you Lord.