.:Am I lacking?:.

hold on i need to get this out of my chest! FUCK YOU! I believe I have done so much and sacrificed so much of my life to fight for you. I'm just trying to hold on and keeping it positive that everything will work out fine! Screw the "team" together..it doesn't even exist in your vocabulary. Fuck your money is mine and blah blah blah..get real! I feel that you're not ready for this commitment because everything that comes out of my mouth is all nag to you. My point will never be heard because of your mind boggling EGO! is all up your ass and does not care about what others may try to say. It goes to one ear and out the other. Your bull shit don't make me feel any better anymore. Because it's just someone playing a role. Best Actor I may say. I do things genuinely, honestly, and full of sincerity..but how do you return it back? its more of an obligation to you, a task, or a job...My patience is running, running, running low..Soon enough I'm gone! Never ending fights/arguments. There was never a month that there was not a fight/argument. I know its not always me. Sometimes it's also you, I can see in your face when you lie, I don't have to tell you. I just leave it up to your conscience...Maybe 5 years is the time to say times up or game over!

.:to look forward:.

Look forward to see friends. Look forward to a hobby. Look forward to something new. Look forward to change. Look forward to being alone. Look forward to going out. Look forward to vacation. Look forward to talking to friends whether a guy or girl. Looking forward to going home. What is more important?

.:Hour glass:.

Time is ticking. Could it mean it's running out? I may be able to feel better. Like this. Find me again. Happier alone. Always taking advantage. Greedy. Support but is it fake? Tired. Give up. Not worth it. Someone better for you. Rich enough. Prettier. Sexier. Smarter. Street Smart. Wears more make-up. Funnier. Careless. Dirty. Lazy. Unmotivated. Inconsiderate. Putting you down. Discouraged. Feeling stupid. Uneducated. Know Everything. Mistakes. Misunderstanding. Misunderstood. Doesn't listen. Stubborn. Arrogant. White lies. Hatred. Jealousy.

Regine Velasquez: Araw Gabi

Regine Velasquez - Messin' with my head

.:It's been a while so it's the right time when I'm 26:.

So I had missed writing on this blog during the holidays specifically Christmas and New years. The sad part it's our second Christmas without Daddy, I miss him dearly. =S On a happy note I was able to spend it with Love despite my busy schedule at work and he was on a 3 week vacation. Also I enjoyed spending Christmas dinner with my family and Lovey's family. I ended up having the bronchitis though, which was a first for me. I just had to be on antibiotics for a week or so. Lovey and I, and Lovely and Brian went to the Festival of lights in Vandusen Gardens which was fun too! I'm glad to have met new group of friends that I trust! I also enjoyed going to the states with the family just before we started school.

This month had passed Lovey and I turned to our 5 year anniversary of being together! I'm so happy be spending the holidays with my only Love.

Not let's turn to my birthday! It started off last night, Lovey surprised me with an ice cream cake from DQ. It's just too bad it was not caught on camera because I sure had a very surprised reaction, went out of balance and almost fell. It was nice though because he went out of his way to buy me a cake and usually its hard to surprise me. So yeah, it was so sweet of him to do that for me. It's very seldom that he's able to do this to me..I usually give him more surprises, not that I'm counting or comparing. Then this morning started off alright. Lovey had a CT scan though =S. I'm a little anxious with what the result may be. It turned out to be a nice day but very cold. I cooked shrimp alfredo and bought nando's for my family, Lovey, Domer and James. Too bad Chellsa was not able to make it. Lovey came around 5:30 then Domer an hour after then James. Domer got me Donuts from Tim Horton's and James got me 2 boxes of Cheesecake =D. Then we watched a little bit of Russell Peters..something that made me laugh; finally. Lovey was a little off today so I had to find something that would make myself be happy about. It was nice for him to be over but the presence was not there. Not sure really why because we barely talked. =S. Oh yeah before I forget I got my hair done up for my birthday. My present for myself..but now in search for a job. Need to help my mama.

Lord thank you for another year. I am looking forward to what you have planned for me this year. I will do my best to obey you and follow the desires of my heart. One of my sister's in Christ shared with me today Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

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